SpiderWomanKnits

So last Tuesday night a lovely little package arrived in the mail with a book for my DH and a book for me. Finally my copy of Mason Dixon Knitting had arrived! I have been a big fan of their texture and color selections for a long time and this book is appealing to me because of its domestically delightful patterns. I immediately cast on for the Ballband Dishcloth but it was late and I was tired so I decided it would be the perfect project to bring along the next day when I was scheduled to report for JURY DUTY. Now I might have mentioned that I flew to Ohio two months ago to visit a dear friend and didn't have any difficulty bringing my knitting on board the plane so I had no reason to believe that bringing knitting to jury duty would cause any stir. Boy was I wrong.

Flashback to last Wednesday, May 17th 7:30 AM. SpiderWomanKnits has Jury Duty.

After driving around for a ludicrously long time searching for a parking spot outside the courthouse that allows you to park for more than 90 minutes I enthusiastically climbed the majestic sandstone stairs to report for my first time ever as a potential juror. I was really excited about this. Eventhough you always hear people complain about jury duty I never wanted to let that effect my experience. I also have some weird attraction to the law/justice that even made me take the test to be a New York State Trooper at one point in my life (which I passed with flying colors). I think in license plate numbers sometimes and remember details as if they will need to be entered into a police report. It's really strange and also a story for another time. Back to the Berkshire Superior Courthouse. Anyway, I was excited not only to perform my civic duty but also to have some time to sit and knit undisturbed. Hey, I don't mind waiting around as long as I have my knitting.

So I go through security and get "wanded", no problem, but as I look to my right the security officer is opening my bag and removing my KNITTING (without any regard for dropped stitches either he just grabbed it and ripped it out!) With a big, fat smile on his face he hands me a ratty piece of paper with a number on it and says, "You can pick this (my knitting) up later IF you get a break but you can not take it in to the Jurors Waiting Area. Make sure you keep that number. It's the only way you'll get your stuff back."

Silence. My heart is sinking and my face is flushing with confussion and outrage. HE TOOK MY NEWLY CAST ON MASON-DIXON DISHCLOTH ON #7 CLOVERS AWAY FROM ME! This might not have caused me to panic had I brought along the book I am reading or a magazine or something but I had nothing, nothing. Just me and my dishcloth. Stunned, I navigate down two flights of stairs in a blurry haze and the panic sets in. I walk up to the bailiff (a woman) and ask her if it is really true that you can not knit while you are waiting, I say that there must be some mistake because the security guard upstairs confiscated my knitting, a dishcloth, could she possibly get it back for me? All I got in return was a stealy eyed stare and a direction back to my seat.

Typically I am a calm person sometimes I even borderline on a doormat because I can take a lot of crap and not be affected but I started to feel postal. I was like an animal. I hit a low point in my life here people like an addict or something. I needed my knitting didn't they understand that ? My hands were aching already, I was starting to shake. I didn't know what I was going to do and all I could hear were the guys behind me talking about how they had to wait for 7 hours the last time they served. Looking around me everyone was wearing something knitted, by machine, but still knitted. How could they turn on me. I felt betrayed. They needed me to knit, I could clothe the world, didn't they understand that?! I took my notebook out of my purse and decided the only way to relieve my tension was to go through my purse and write down ALL the other things that were MUCH more dangerous than a freaking DISHCLOTH the guard didn't take away from me! Here is what I came up with...

But it got worse. After waiting around for an hour or so we watched the video that tells you all about the importance of jury duty (at this point the romance has totally worn off for me and I am right up there with everyone else complaining about how much jury duty sucks and contemplating throwing something, like the cable needle the security guy missed, at the television) but as soon as the movie ends the bailiff says that we can walk around until they call us back to the waiting room! I frantically dig the ratty numbered paper out of my back pocket and run upstair to the security check point to get my knitting and my dignity back. Grabbing my dishcloth from his hand I run out to the sandstone steps, plop down in the delicious sun and knit like mad. Like a fiend. Fast and Furious. As soon as I finish that first row I pause to take a look around me and enjoy my fix. There all around me were all the smokers who had been trapped in the jury waiting room along with me taking quick drags enjoying their fix just as much as I enjoyed mine. I have never been a smoker (never even smoked a cigarette once or anything else for that matter) but I felt a kinship with them. All of us needed something and needed it bad. I knit the next few rows slowly and peacefully enjoying each and every stitch until we got called back again, I actually managed to get half the dishcloth done out there.

 

Luckily, shortly after we got back in I was dismissed (there was a plea/no trial) and handed my ratty piece of paper with a number on it back to the security guard for the last time (for the next three years at least) and walked out of the courthouse triumphant for having survived the whole ordeal with a greater understanding of myself and the rules of what you can and can not bring with you to jury duty.

 

I suffered people but if my story can save one knitter, just one knitter out there, from having to go through what I went through last Wednesday it will have been worth it.